Closing Our First Home

Finally, we signed all the documents! the house is ours. Bob & Bill were there. I was a nervous wreck all day ... well, maybe I exaggerate that a bit. I just couldn't think straight so much, due to lack of sleep and much more of nervousness and excitement.

The closing cost less than we had the check for!! woo hoo .... money back to the pocket! saving towards buying new furniture perhaps ... the whole thing was done less than 2 hours. Bob gave me a gift certificate ... he was so sweet. So many paperwork to sign, .. but it finally finished and not as daunting as I thought it would be. Great experience, stressful, learning curve, totally .. the reality didn't kick in yet that now we are a proud homeowner! To achieve one of our American dream! Boy, I love this country. We did it. We made it happen, it's unbelievable ... *pat, pat on our back*

Me, .. the one who always scared to buy a house thinking that we could never afford it .. finally made it happen. kissie kissie to hubby first.

When it's done around 4:30, we got some flowers, picked up the kids, get some pizzas and heading to our new home, to say hello and gave the house some blessing. so we went there, put the flowers in the water and we all gather in the house, pray to God who's been willing to let this happen to us, then the reality sunk in. I couldn't help but cried with tears of joy of how blessed we are. We are able to provide better quality of life to our children. Dylan was staring at me for crying, I told him I wasn't sad ... I was super happy and it was tears of joy.

We put flowers and water in front of the house, to the side .. and to the back of the house.
What's amazing was that both neighbors were outside and they were so friendly and introduce themselves to us ... and welcomed us to the neighborhood. Off to a good start.. Thank you Lord, for everything ... for everything .. your guidance and your divine blessing upon us.

Our American Dream

The steps, the agony, the paper work, the hunting, the restlessness, the worries ... towards our first American dream. We will be closing tomorrow for our first home, to sign our names on those paper for the place that we call home.

It's a cute little house that everyone seems to fall in love to at the first time. The husband, the wife and the kids. They all agree to one solid conclusion that for years to come this would be their perfect little house. My first reaction: nice ... no carpet (no juice stain on the floor) and stairs to the 2nd floor! Yeayy ... I don't know why I always want a house with 2nd Floor. It's kind of a different place I guess to get away from. It was bright and clean .. and move in condition.

Husband: (reading from his face) .. it's nice, i like it.
Kids: running around, shreaking, up and down the stairs, ... mama, papa .. I like this house, let's buy this house ....

Yes of course, we put an offer 3 days later. And accepted! tweeeet ....

Then, what I didn't know was the drama of pursuing the next step. A lot of numbers ... some could be scarry ... ooh, can I afford this? oh I have to buy the appliances? oh, ... inspection, man, how much money to I have to shed for that electric work, ... oh insurance, ... what??? the quotes doesn't match the final price? .. how much more? $300??? ... little panick attack ...

My oh my .... but I'll do it all over again, for my kids ... they were sooo happy in the house! They already know which room they're gonna sleep in and the stairs. The stairs is an open stairs on the last 5-6 steps which would be a falling hazard, Ant and I still can't find a solution for the security without breaking our budget or doing a reno.

I'm anxious for tomorrow, this was part of our American dream ... one step at a time. Oh, we are blessed! Till tomorrow, and I'll write some more ... ehm, maybe ... in a couple of weeks or months after moving ...

Revisit

I'm trying to find my true existence. What am I made for? What am I good for? I am not satisfied with what I'm doing right now. The nagging feeling that I can do more, that I can do better is simply on the back of my mind, excessively these days. Is it a calling? The way the universe is trying to tell me that I need to move on. That I need to take a risk.

I feel like my journey of life has only been passed halfway at this point. I feel like my future has only been painted halved of my potential if I don't dare to make some changes.

I've been asking people who know me, people who I trust, what am I good at? It's a bit difficult to direct me to an exact point of career, but they all comes to the same conclusion: that I should deal with people. Too broad, eh?

According to Jung personality type, I am the ENFJ: Extrovert Intuitive Feeling Judging. The Idealist. Here comes:

ENFJ Personality Extraordinary People Skills

The ENFJ personality is so instinctively talented with people skills that the ENFJs can get people to do almost anything they want. ENFJs get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. ENFJ's motives are usually unselfish, but ENFJs who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs.

The above are just some of the ENFJ factors that comprise you list of personality traits which you can use to find a career that is a natural fit.

Extraverted with Intuition, Feeling and Judging your career personality profile would include the following natural tendencies among others:

• Breadth of interests
• Grasp of possibilities
• Warmth and sympathy (with emphasis on relationships)
• Ability to organize
• Natural people orientation
• Drive for harmony
• Strong imagination
• Energy and compassion

There are more natural traits making up the ENFJ self personality profile but those above indicate a natural ability for careers that require organization, expressiveness, and an interest in people’s emotional, intellectual and spiritual development. The ENFJ orientation for people, their desire for harmony, and their imagination often attract them to religious professions, counseling, psychology or teaching.

The ENFJ personality type will naturally move toward careers that allow you to establish and maintain warm and supportive interpersonal relationships with co-workers, clients, customers; work that is done in an environment where expectations are clear, contributions are appreciated, and personal and professional growth and development are encouraged. Also, work that gives the ENFJ a variety of activities but allows you to work in a relatively orderly and well-planned manner, and work that is done in an environment that is free from interpersonal conflicts and ongoing tension will provide natural fulfillment for the ENFJ personality type.

Examples of careers often chosen by ENFJs include:

• Director of Religious Education
• Minister
• Clergy
• Home Economist
• Rabbi
• Priest or Monk
• Health Teacher
• Psychodrama Therapist
• Actor
• Art, Drama, Music Teacher
• Crisis Counselor
• Fine Artist
• Runaway Youth Counselor
• School Counselor
• English Teacher
• General Consultant
• Optometrist
• Musician or Composer
• Educational Counselor
• Foreign Language Teacher
• All Categories of Counseling
• Artist or Entertainer
• Religious Worker
• Dental Hygienist
• Library Attendant
• Family Practice Physician
• Designer
• Child Care Worker
• Nursing Consultant
  
• Psychiatry
• High School Teacher
• Writer or Journalist
• Nursing Educator
• Marketing Professional
• k-12 School Administrator
• Pharmacist
• Health Education Practitiioner
• Psychologist
• Education Administration All Levels
• Food Service Worker
• University Professor
• Pre-School Teacher
• Lay Member Religious Order
• Librarian
• Public Relations Worker
• Community College Professor
• Student Personnel Administration (college)
• Social Scientist
• Physical Therapist

ENFJs are found less often in careers that require interests or skills in business or technical analysis, attention to detail, hands-on precision trade work such as engineering and computer science.

The ENFJ is also less often attracted to work with much interpersonal conflict, administration and non-people centered activity such as:

• Restaurant Worker
• Factory Supervisor
• Computer Operations/Systems
• Farmer
• Social Services Worker
• School Bus Driver
• Small Business Manager
• City Works Technician
• Retail Store Manager
• Coal Miner
• Corporate Executive Manager
• Steelworker
• Regional Utilities Manager
• Corrections Officer
• Personnel Relations Worker
• Police Officer
• Purchasing Agent
• Military Officer/Enlistee
• Construction Worker
• Medical Secretary

Babbling Night

Dear diary,

I have an empty space in my heart. Don't know exactly to explain this void. I'm craving, wanting something that I don't have. Daydreaming, fantasy, always better than reality.
I haven't rest really good lately. Indy's upper teeth are sprouting and she'll wake up 3-4 times at night. Sometimes I feel exhausted cause this little girl is a little eating machine ... I'm still nursing, and sure enough I don't get my REM sleep. Oh, baby ... I will enjoy you as much as joy can overflow me for the mere touch of your chubbiness. I know I'm babbling with non sense right now, it's 3 AM, I'm drinking my yummy chocolate and gotta to work tomorrow. I just heard the "ehhg ..." She wakes up, .. again .. for the 4th time.

Obsession

I think I'm obsessed with work. It's unbelievable how much work that I have. Sometimes I think how I decide on people's life everyday. How my action affects their future, hope, despair.
I can't stop thinking about work even when I'm at home .. it's so inefficient the way it is. I think i'm stealing the time that I should focus with my children. ooh, i'm telling myself "They don't pay you to think like this" Stop it. Just stop it. It just works.

The eyes of my children

I was reading "Three Little Pigs" for bedtime stories. Words by words coming out of my mouth, then I look up to my audience. Two pairs of big bright eyes staring at me. My heart stops. Those beautiful eyes are mine, both equally beautiful and yet different, the eyes of my children .. looking at me. I'm so blessed.

Beauty really comes in all sizes.

Without Fear

Lately I've been contemplating. As much as I want to write on this blog or my children's blogs, I can't seem to find the time to do it. It's only after 1 AM when everybody's tucked in bed, then I can spare me some "me" time. And sometimes writing is not on the top of my list anymore.

But anyhow I've been thinking about this. Anton just had a surgery (Oct 15) and I had c-section on Aug 16. So we both pretty much injured parents right now who have to take care of 2 young kids. We can't pick up Dylan anymore, well I tried and then my incision hurt like hell. Certainly not for anton who just got the fresh cut.

Anton was worried that he can't get back to work sooner. He's worried that he might lose his job if he's taking too much time off. I told him he shouldn't be worried, cause he got skills and he's good. Worst case scenario, he'd find another job.

When I told him not to worry, it just occured to me .. How easy life is if you live without fear.
I'm not talking about my surrounding, but mentality, inside.

Saat kita tidak punya rasa takut, pikiran kita tenang.
Takut tidak bisa membesarkan anak2 sendiri.
Takut kecapekan, takut kewalahan ..
Setelah dirasakan lagi, takut atau nggak takut, proses kehidupan itu tetap akan berjalan kok.
Karena tanpa rasa takut, kita siap, kita bebas, merasa superior atau percaya diri.
So, don't be afraid .. you're ready for this.