Through His Eyes

I was playing with him on the bed. I had him on my lap and the sun was shining through the window. We were gigling and stuff. Then, he was smiling and staring at me and I see my reflection, so clearly ... in his eyes.

I asked myself,
Does he know that I love him?
Does he know that he's so pure and tender?
Does he know that I wish he stays like this forever?
Does he know that time flies so fast?

It doesn't matter he knows or not.

He's happy .. and that's all for now.

Identity Theft

I've been getting a lot of marketing calls these days. Woooh, how I hate it. Offering debt consolidation, mortgage, bla bla. I wonder why now I got all these phone calls. It's a bit intriguing to me. I'm trying to check my credit report, is something going on without my knowledge? I'm scared that I got to be one of the identity theft victim.

According to report, 1 in every 20 Americans has been an id theft victim. When I check the report, it needs my verification first before I can access the account. It says that I might have a mortgage and I have to choose the amount that I pay per month. What the hell???

Update:
I can't wait any longer, so I order the 3-in-1 credit reports. Consumer Info offers Free Credit Report, but heck it's just a gimmick, cause it takes forever to actually gain access!! Paid 30 bucks for it, and I am relieved! Clear trails .. :)

Building a credit is very important in the US. Better score on your credit report means creditors will be more willing to lend you money, lower mortgage rate, better benefit, lower rate on credit card, easier buying, etc. I just want to be cautious about the financial thing, especially now I have a child. Financial planning is definitely a priority on my list now. What to pay for insurance, education, savings, bills. Especially we are one-income family, I should be more wise on spending budget. Sometimes I am so let loose. It's so easy to order things over the internet. And I have this addiction with Target (who doesn't? It's cheap and carries cute stuff).

I probably won't go to work for the next couple of months. I am sooo in love with my son. Watching him smiling back at me. How my heart melts right away ... everything else is just a blur for that split second. And I feel like I don't want to leave him with somebody else. I must realize though somehow that I need extra money for us. It's not about buying him toys every now and then, but planning to give the best that I could for him. His education especially. Daddy has a plan already for Dylan, NYU it is ... And he's not even a year old yet! Ok daddy, NYU will wait for Dylan in 20 years. Meanwhile we got to manage a way to get him through there ..

to Journal

I think I have reservation now on writing here. I feel not as free to liberate my mind as I used to. The fact that so many people read it, doesn't really bother me that much.

I'm such a liar .. yes it does bother me. The idea of internet is to remain anonymous. You don't have to know me. You just need to know that someone, somebody out there has a piece of mind. You read if you like it and you don't if you don't. Simple as that.

But people are curious you know. When you read something that intrigues you, you want to know deeper about that person. You dig deeper, you want to see pictures, you want to know what's going on. It's human nature.

When people dig you, you're a good writer or you have a personal thing. That's how this whole blogging thing started. I was curious, then I found out more. And now I have some archives trail on me.
As much as I enjoy blogging, sometimes I miss to write on my old paper book. Writing it by hand, on my bed. It seems more valuable to preserve in the later years than merely sitting on a server.

I still have my old diary. The one that I wrote on since I was 12 years-old. It's fun to read it again. To laugh on my stupidity and innocence. Oh so naive ... you were once a little girl.

Maybe I am just being sentimental.

Happy Birthday Darling

He came home around 12, nearly passed his birthday, but made it on time. He looked happy though tired. I was wating for him anxiously and just glad to see his face storming through the door. I put my gift on the table so he could see it. It was a big box wrapped with red paper and a big white-silver-red bow on top of it. Inside was an mp3 player, very tiny one, I love the design, it was so compact, stylish and trendy. Not much, but I knew he wanted a small mp3 player for his commute to work.

He opened the box, looked through it .. and he was all smile. He loved it! He asked me how could I knew that's what he wanted. I said ... "I'm your wife, silly ... I know what you want". (at least this time around). I put two cards inside, one from me, one from Dylan. He read them while I was getting busy in the kitchen, preparing our dinner. When I turned around, he was right behind me, giving me a hug. Then he said:

"Thank you yang, ... Saya jadi sedih ... "
"Kok sedih?"
"Because I'm so happy"
In a glimpse I see tears in his eyes, but he holds me tight, doesn't want me to see him tearing.

I bought a funky little chocolate cream cake. Real small .. just to seal the deal of birthday event. Lit up the candles, took some pics, and heading to bed.
He was in bed with Dylan lying on his chest, he invited me over to get inside his arms. It was the three of us, together. I felt so warm and with so much love. And I was scared *You know the feeling of it's to good to be true* .. but then I let go my fear. I said to myself, .. it's real, just enjoy this moment right here, right now.

He gave a gentle squeeze to me and Dylan and I heard him saying softly .. "Mi familia ... "