"Birthday Review"

It's pretty surprising that some people call me or send me message on my birthday. They are people that I don't think will remember ... like Linda, Jenny, Kiki. Some other people that send me card is my sista;Bibi, Mario, Sari, Lenny & Christine.

Happy Birthday

So, this is my 26th birthday ... I don't feel anything special, except when I read what mom wrote to me. She sends me SMS through Raja's phone. I was kinda sick I guess ... it was so freaking cold and windy outside. I went for lunch with Anton at Warteg .. chit chat with mbak Suti ... got my not so good late lunch and then went to Home Depot. Terrible wind blowing when I got out from the store and in a 10-sec walk to the car, I was hit by an excruciating pain in my head. Lasted the whole trip to home, I opened the door, and blasted to the bathroom and get everything I had for lunch out in the toilet bowl ... He cleaned up the mess I made, made me a nice hot tea, and covered me with blanket and tucked some pillows to make me comfortable.*Thank you, cookie .. *

Then I watched the movie "Heart in Atlantis" with Anton, but my head was still banging ... the worst headache I've ever remembered. It felt like my skull was growing and waiting to explode, to make it worse .. even eye movement gave me shooting pain .. God, what happened to me?? I took 2 Panadol pills in the next 10 min when I couldn't stand it anymore, it didn't feel working at all ...

Then I locked myself in the bedroom, tried to meditate and learned to take the pain, I hymned whatever chant I could remember "Namo tassa bhagavatto, arahato, sama sambudase ... three times ... then .. "Sabbe satta bhawantu sukitata". The former I wasn't sure what it meant, but the latter meant "May all living being be happy". I chanted them over and over ... and slowly ... I felt more relaxed .. and the pain started to go away. Maybe it's the meditation, or the pills ... both worked wonderfully I supposed. I walked out the room out of pain .. totally!!

I was thinking that maybe the pain supposed to remind me, that life is sometimes crushed you with an unbearable pain, but it will eventually go away in time. And the pain itself, reminds me that I have a head, to conciously aware its existence as a part of me. Which I don't appreciate it so much when I'm healthy ... and then all the sudden, it's shouting out loud .. hey .. hey .. I'm here ... I need attention. Think about it how we take our body parts for granted untill one day you are in pain.

This is what mom wrote .. I type it here as it is .. she made mistake as you will see ... on the year of course .. but it's okay .. *love, love, love*

Hi tayang ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEETHEART. Pap n mom n adik2. Hope u always happy. Home peb 13, 03, 00.20 am, the day I delivered u 26 years ago. We love you .. We r proud of u .. We wish u were at home now. Please Feel our big big hug ....

Thank you ma ... Miss you always, never stop missing you ... not even a single second. *nobody hugs like ma*