"Religion and Spirituality"

Red: You need an open mind to read this, if not .. then stop, go somewhere else.

Sometimes I asked myself .. am I a religious person? probably not ... I hardly pray unless I'm in the mood of it. I hold a religion, but I don't really practice it so much. My parents never make it such a big deal what religion I am going to hold.They gave me liberation to choose what belief I'll follow. I went through a lot of phases of this religion thingy .. Christian, Catholic, Moslem, Buddhism .. never Hindhuism, since I probably didn't get much influence of it, though I'm quite interesting somehow.

When I was 5 yo, I went to a Christian school, so my teacher made me go to Sunday School, which I kinda enjoy ... because I could use a nice dress and meet up with all of my friends, and the music was loud and happy, with a lot of clapping. Then I could get to hear some stories from the Bible with great presentation of sticky pictures on the board and animated sound. Afterwards, we could get to play games by looking for verses in the Bible, and whoever found it first was the winner of a bag of biscuits and candies (simple but work all the time).

Then it's time to say goodbye to elementary school. I was accepted in the most outstanding private school in the city, which happened to be a Catholic school (that was the best of the best school I've always have fond of). It has a big church on the front side of the my school, probably the biggest in the city, people call it Cathedral Church. The school only teached Catholic as religion subject, so I get in-depth to it, had no choice ... and as sometimes after school, I could hear people having Mass were chanting in a such soothing melody. I got interested to experience what's inside the church. So I went there on Sunday with my best friend, Bertha, who was Catholic by no choice a.k.a born baptised (ojo ngamuk yo ndit .. hehehe .. )

Time to move on from wonderful school, I picked a Catholic school again for my secondary high school. I still went to the church, but only once-in-a-blue-moon. I remember going to the Chrismas Night Mass with my gf Irma at her church in Atmodirono just because I thought that was cool and holy * wooowww, that was lame but innocent :P~~ *. Along with us was Mas Doddy and Debby, she's an exchange student from I don't remember where ... some white girl. So they picked me up and I was contented enough to find out what it felt like to be in the church at midnight. But that was it, ... the first and the last Christmas midnight Mass for me.

When I had a bf, he was a Moslem ... it was never a big deal to me that our religion was different. I had a lot of bestfriends that happened to be moslems and they were cool as hell. He asked me couple of times if I wanted to become a moslem, and I wasn't so sure .. but hey, I could give it a try .. who knows this is the end of my long last searching? But again, he didn't practice his religion as well ... so I didn't bother to learn either ... we broke up anyway. In college, I met a guy that later became my bf and he's Moslem too ... but, this one is more religious (Oo ..). So the same question poped up again ... and I said okay. So I was kinda trying to find out how I could learn about Islam .. I happened to live by a mosque Istiqomah (it's like .. in front of my boarding house). I walked in the gate and looked for any human being around ... then I saw a lady there, so I said hi and told her that I wanted to learn about Islam. She was so happy and gave me sorta of booklet ... then we chit chat a little bit and I said bye. I read it ... but couldn't really get it in my mind. So I asked my bf, but he said he couldn't help teaching me .. He said I should learn by myself ..... (??????). Then I was like ... whatever ... you're the one who suggests and you don't even help me ... I gave up knowing that it was not going to work for me or him.

I had a crush on a Balinese guy when I was in Bandung, I used to sit in his room and asked him if he would like to pray so I could watch (but he said he was to shy). I argued by saying "Why would you have to be shy for doing something good?". He didn't buy a word I say .. hah .. (Oh, btw, Balinese identics with Hindhuism). So I bugged him with questions. He had this religious calendar hanging by the door, written in Sanskrit. I was like ... "What does this symbol means? Is this a holiday? What's the holiday celebrating for? .. bla bla bla". He was kindly answered all of my questions, but my adventure of exploring another religion was only going that far.

My parents are Buddhist, very dedicated one ... started with my dad. Every year there is always a Vesak Celebration in Indonesia that held in Borobudur, and mom always asked us along to join and stay in Mendut for couple of days. My dad always participates in the event as either Chief or Second Chief or Ceremony Chief year by year. I always enjoy seeing him on the field of Borobudur preparing for the ceremony. I get the special treatment to walk around anywhere just because people know he's my dad .. (hahaha).

The thing was I didn't go to this event every year, .. as a teenager, I didn't feel like hanging out with my parents so much, so I could always make up excuse with some school work or whatever, but instead I just hung out with my friends. Apparently they never pushed me to ... and after two years in a row missing the event, I kinda miss it. I missed to hear the chanting lightly flow in the air under the extraordinary full moon. FYI: Vesak is celebrated each year as a ceremony of the Birth, Enlightment, and Death of Buddha, when the moon is the fullest of the whole year. (Yes, it's kinda amazing that Buddha had the same date for all that three events together!!)

It was that moment ... looking at the moon, with its brightest glow, I knew what I want .... You know when you know it.

Then again, I don't feel like I'm a good example of a buddhist ... I don't practice my religion in the right manner. I'm more into what's touching my heart ... I read many literatures and find the best of each religion to pick as a guidance. I like spiritual reading, one of my favorite is Anthony de Mello, SJ (his book: Awareness, Doa Sang Katak), a Jesuit pastor, a great spiritualist that has opened my eyes with his great story of different religions.

I observe people and I find that I can't generalized the relationship between religion and individual manner. I've seen so many people distorted with the idea of God and religion ... my God, your God, ... give me a break, .. don't try to describe "your God" to me ... you just ruin it. If you are happy with it, then I'm happy for you, but I'm not going to listen to your propaganda. The minute you use "My" in front of the "God" ... I'm outta here. It crossed my mind that if all religions claim that the only way to go to heaven is through their religion, then everybody's going to hell since there is no ONE religion on earth. * right? *

As a human being, we always have the need to be in touch with our Higher Power, the heart is longing to find our existence in the world. I've seen so many people transformed into a new person by their religions. The cold hearted, the suffered, the hopeless ... touched by an angel. And I do believe in God, ... cause how can a tree grow? how can a baby made by eggs and sperm? who can make blood? ......... even Discovery Channel can't explain how and why.
But again there are people who don't believe in God, like my Russian friend (no wonder why). I saw this movie "Contact" by Jodie Foster(Dr. Eleanor Ann 'Ellie' Arroway) and Matthew McConaughey (Father Palmer Joss) at this part of their interesting conversation.

Ellie doesn't believe in God and she challenges Palmer to prove the existence of God. Courtesy of IMDB

Palmer Joss: "Did you love your father?"
Ellie Arroway: "What?"
Palmer Joss: "Your dad. Did you love him?"
Ellie Arroway: "Yes, very much."
Palmer Joss: "Prove it."
Ellie Arroway: * speechless *


If you believe in God, try to guess this riddle:

What is greater than God?
What is more evil than the Devil?
The poor has it, the rich needs it, and if you eat it, you'll die ...