I'm Mellow Yellow

I think the truest feeling that you'll ever write is when you don't really think what you're writing. You just sorta flow with your mind, your hands are non-stoply typing without hesitation. Right now, I stop. So I know my mind is not here.

I think the music bothers me, eventhough sometimes they do help. I don't know why sometimes I like to feel sad. I always picture myself as a "yellow person". Yes, I'm mostly happy with whatever I have and I always optimistic in my life. But at times, I do and need to feel sad, just to relieve my pain.

I think it's not right for people to build up pain inside them.

The other day I watched National Geographic about this guy who's done exorcism to at least 6000 people. He said the reason why the devil possessed them is because the pain and anger inside the heart. Those feeling give the evil a chance to attach itself to the human heart. Although somehow I think he's rather a scam, his argument does make sense.

I know exactly how it feels when I keep everything hurtful inside. To swallow the pain and be cool. Actually, .. it's not cool at all. No wonder people are getting crazier and crazier each day. Even with this knowledge, I still build things up inside sometimes. Norms, society, manner must be controlled.

I do envy to "Invisible People" who live in deep forest of Amazon sometimes. They must be stress-free and I bet none of them are manic depression or schichrophenic (I don't even know if I spell this right). I watched the movie "The Emerald Forest" in IFC yesterday afternoon and I couldn't take my eyes of it. It's not because a bunch of naked people walking around only covered with leaves, but the movie is really beautiful and so totally different from our city life.

Well anyway, I don't think I'd last a day in Amazon jungle unless I was born and raised there.