Work Hard

Hmm.. bingung deh. hehe .. tolol ah. Kok jadi gak bisa nulis gini seh.
Ah gue kesel ah. Nglamar kerja udah beberapa tapi belum ada yang response. Kapan dong, kapan nih nasib berubah? Masak gini-gini melulu. Si Joe sih bilang sabar2 aja Ta. Ini belum saat elo, bentar lagi deh kata dia (dasar tukang ramal) .. jadinya ya gue percaya2in aja deh.
Kan gue sukanya mau percaya kalo yang baik2 gitu. Lagian kan nggak ada salahnya kalo percaya ke arah yang positif. (duuh ... trying to justify)

Terus soal rencana pindahan juga bikin agak pusing. We have so many plans and the 'what-if scenarios' going on everytime. I've been searching online, asking people questions about "the good-the bad-the ugly" of our future destination. Some encouraging, some is discouraging (duh, of course). Mana ada yang sempurna ya? Makanya emang paling baik kalo kita meninjau sendiri situasi di sana, kan yang paling ngerti dan bisa ngerasain kita sendiri.

Udah liat-liat apartment di sana (online) n gawe juga. Kayaknya sih everything allright, but honestly gue concern ama yang namanya getting a job. The first plan was to get an apartment, but now I'd say I have to prioritize on getting the job first. Hopefully I'll meet my chance.

One time I asked Joe. Why do I have to go through this? I studied hard, but how come my future seems so absurd at this moment. I don't do what I want to do, or at least get the amount of money I deserve (for my education). I am so envying my cousin. Her career is way over me and people always think I was going to be the one that is ambitious, success ... blablabla.

Joe, dengan gaya kalemnya jawab : "Loe tuh lagi diuji Ta, ... supaya loe lebih kuat, lebih wise. Kalo loe nggak ngelwatin ini semua, loe nggak akan se-tough sekarang. Gue yakin banget sebentar lagi akan saat loe shining; you have to believe that".

Honey .. I believe that one day I will shine .. I just wonder why why why I'm fucking stuck here. I'm not perfect, but I'm one smart cookie. WHY WHY WHY ...

TOUGH? Am I? He said I'm the toughest lady he'd ever known.
I don't quite think the same way..
I'm not tough enough. I still complain (like right now).
I just have to keep trying, don't I?

TRY TRY TRY .. you'll get there eventually, darling. (You know it)