Missing Children

I flipped the TV channel. Sampe pada suatu channel yang 'boring' dan nggak penting2 banget. Terus setelah itu keluar foto seorang anak, sambil disebelahnya berisi data diri dan ciri2nya. Missing Children. Uhh, aku jadi penasaran & agak takut membayangkan.


Kok bisa2nya anak-anak itu hilang. Sebagian besar sudah teenager, berumur 15 tahun, .. tapi ternyata ada juga yang masih umur 2 tahun. Wajahnya lucu, masih balita, Angel Torrez? Aku jadi teringat Dylan. Duh, nak ... I never want anything like that happen to you. Aku nggak kebayang perasaan orang tua mereka yang kehilangan anak2nya. Entah diculik, entah run away. Kooookkkk ada ya orang yang tega2nya culik anak kecil dari orangtuanya. Lalu diperdagangkan, entah jadi s-e-x slave atau diambil organnya, atau dijadiin pengemis .. I mean, how cruel is that?

Beberapa waktu yang lalu di berita BBC UK sempat diulas, anak2 korban Tsunami yang akan diadopsi akan diperketat prosesnya. Mereka ini diincar para "pedagang anak2" untuk pura2nya diadopsi dan kemudian di-"pekerja"-kan. Sudah kehilangan orang tua, ditimpa bencana, masih juga akan diperosokin. Tega sekali?

Anak-anak, meskipun kadang mengesalkan .. dengan tingkah laku mereka. Yang rengek-rengek, yang temper tantrum, ngobrak-ngabrik ... bangunin tiap 2 jam .. adalah sumber kebahagiaan orang tua. Aku harap anak-anak jangan jadi korban. Kalau sudah sedari dini mereka jadi korban yang "salah", besarnya pun akan jadi orang yang bener-bener "salah" alias kacau.

Another news in TV, anak umur 10 tahun meninggal gara-gara pas dia maen salju di-plow ama snow truck yang ngebersihin salju. Driver nya nggak liat, dan ini anak pun ikut kegulung dan mati. Salah siapa? Kok nggak ada yang supervise? Orangtuanya kah karena teledor? Itu pikiranku yang pertama kali muncul. But I think over, maybe they have to work, they're not there when it happens, they're poor and they have no choice but to leave her alone after school.

Duh .. I hope, aku nggak pernah lupa menjaga anakku dari hal2 seperti ini. I mean this kinda thing kinda sucks me up a little bit and makes me too scared of leaving dylan on somebody else's care. But anyhow, I can't live in fear all the times. I just hope that we can take care of him at our best and God will always watch over our son.

Hari Ibu

These days, ada "teroris" yang keliaran di website ibu²-baby². Dari komentar yang kelihatannya cuman iseng, misalnya kayak ngata²in babynya jelek, ibunya jelek, ini jelek, itu jelek, ...(lho, kok jadi kesetanan ngatain semua orang jelek? Lama² korbannya si "teroris" ini makin banyak, dan ngomongnya pun mulai aneh². Berbau SARA, profanity language, sexual harrasment dll.

Di Indonesia, tanggal 22 Desember diperingati sebagai Hari Ibu. Lho kok topiknya Hari Ibu malah ngomongin si teroris ini? Sebentar, sabar, ... entar akan keliatan ada konteksnya.

Gue jadi salah satu korban, waktu baca kesel sekali. Bahasanya kasar, kampungan, norak...
I want to get it out of my system, so I think the better way to do it is by using psycho-analysis (uh, oh .. and because he's a psycho).

Aku jadi berpikir ...

Kenapa ya dia kok bisa kayak gitu?
What's wrong with him?
Why is he so mean and intolerant?

Kok he? bukan she?
Karena dia bilang gini: "AI per-ko-sa mau nggak kamu"

What a moron* asked a question like that?
*mo·ron (môrn)n.
A person of mild mental retardation having a mental age of from 7 to 12 years and generally having communication and social skills enabling some degree of academic or vocational education. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.

Hipotesisku ... orang ini kurang kasih sayang ibu.
Kenapa?
So far dia menyerang websitenya ibu dan anak. Dia nggak punya respect sama sekali sama ibu² dan baby² ini. .
Coba dipikir, orang (laki²) yang hormat dan sayang sama ibunya akankah pernah mengata-ngatai perempuan (apalagi seorang ibu) dengan kata² kasar seperti itu?
He doesn't like his mother, or worse he hates her.

Yang jelas, ibunya salah didik karena anaknya jadi sampai kayak gini. Saking kurang kerjaannya, dia online kemana² ninggalin jejak yang nggak enak. Dia cari kepuasan dengan menghina sana, hina sini, ... why? because it makes him empowered. It makes him feel good about himself.

Yang dia tidak sadari, it's just an empty feeling ...

Aku percaya, bahwa pengaruh orangtua dalam perkembangan sosial dan kejiwaan anak merupakan faktor utama. Seperti kata Khalil Gibran, anak yang dibesarkan dalam kasih sayang akan jadi orang yang penuh kasih. Jika ia dibesarkan dalam kebencian, hidupnya pun penuh dengan benci.

Jika kau tak pernah merasakan lembutnya kasih ibu ... hatimu keras.
Dinding hatimu beku ...
Suatu hari nanti, saat kedua tanganmu menimang sendiri bayimu, lembut kulitnya, ringkih tubuhnya, ... baru kau tahu apa arti cinta .. Itu permata terindah dalam genggamanmu.

Until then, you'll just never know .... you just don't know that feeling.
But I really hope you'll know.

Miracle Grow

Sometimes I can't wait till my son gets asleep so I can do my chores or perhaps just steal a "me-time" all for myself. But I found that I actually miss him when he sleeps. I can't wait to see his bright eyes and big smiles on his face. I think I never loved anyone as much to this extreme.
I love him more than I could help to love somebody. Sometimes I wonder if I have another child, will I love him/her the same? and will I love Dy the same.

The other day, I accidentally poured a whole bunch of Miracle Grow vitamin to my plant. I expected the plant would grow crazily thick and nourished. But, it died. So I thought, maybe it's just the same with love. If I give a steady and substantial love to my son, he will nourish. But if I overwhelm him with too much love, he won't survive.

I take daily life experiences into my account of soul-searching. I don't know when I started doing that, but I'm amazed by how much similarity of events that have no connection whatsoever start to make sense. I just hope the enlightment goes into the right direction.

a Letter

Be strong
Be patient
Be kind

Don't give up,
don't give up,
don't give up,
Just don't ..

Learn, observe, communicate.

Be the one you want to look up to.
what you see in others that you admire,
what? what? ask again?

be true to your heart.
but really listen to what it says.
don't get carried away with delusions.

listen carefully to your heart and mind.
they both can work together.

Love is hard sometimes, but it's not impossible.

Craving Solitude

Sometimes I'm craving a solitude time. A time when I can clear up my mind.

In the old days, an-hour subway ride worked amazingly to me. Besides the boringness, I found that sitting there, rocking in that commotion, watching people in and out the car, soothed my mind. I felt calm and collected. Maybe because I was still, maybe because in people faces told so many stories.

I like the motion ... might feel like a rocking of a mother to a baby... back and forth, back and forth. I found that relaxing somehow. I notice that when had this many things going on in my mind, I slowly untangled them one by one. Maybe I could claim it as a Subway Meditation.

I realize that when I'm not going anywhere, just stay home all day, stuck with all boring routine, I am agitated, restless. A nice walk is always good to refresh my mind. Otherwise I'll go crazy.
A good music does help ...

I'd love to have a walk by myself. Maybe one of these days, we'll see how my son thinks about it.

15 Hugs

I'm a girl who needs 15-hugs a day.
I need to feel the warmth around me.
I like being held.

I never refuse the charm of a hug from people I love.
It empowers me, .. make my day easier.
I like the feeling of being enveloped by two gentle arms.
the scent from the body.

If I don't get 15 hugs a day, I'm still okay.
But something is missing.
and I don't want the lost adds up.
so I'll give my hugs .. just because I'm a girl who needs 15 hugs a day.

Waiting In Vain

From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, boy,
My heart said follow through
But I know now that I'm way down on your line
But the waiting feeling's fine.
So don't treat me like a puppet on a string
'Cause I know how to do my thing.
Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb,
I wanna know when you're gonna come.

See, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,
'Cause summer is here, I'm still waiting there,
Winter is here and I'm still waiting there.

Like I said, it's been three years since I'm knocking on your door
And I still can knock some more.
Ooh boy, ooh boy, is it crazy love? I wanna know now
For I to knock some more. You see...
In life I know there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief.
Tears in my eyes burn, tears in my eyes burn
While I'm waiting, while I'm waiting for my turn.

See, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,..
'Cause summer is here, I'm still waiting there,
Winter is here and I'm still waiting there.

No I no I, I don't wanna wait in vain
No I no I, I dont wanna wait in vain
No no no I, no I, I dont wanna wait in vain
Its your love that I waitng on
Its my love that your waitng for
Its your love that I waitng on
Its my love that your waitng for
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love

~ annie lenox

Nag-of-The-Day

I'm planning on celebrating Dylan's 1st Birthday next month. I got my mind going on organizing the party. I have my menu set, and thinking about making the invitation card printed as a picture. I wonder if I ever have time to do all that. It should be simple, fun, cheerful and elegant. Quite a lot, huh? I know somehow it won't turn out exactly as I planned, but hell, I try though ..

I like a little bit of challenge everyday, cause otherwise life is rather dull. My little monkey is definitely one of it, and since it's an everyday thing, it's not a challenge anymore (or-so-to speak). That's why I'm assigning myself with this little task for keeping me un-rusty.

After being a mother who stays home and tackle all household chores by myself everyday. Duh, I realize how hard it is to stay sane sometimes. And it does need a lot of work and energy. The thing is, the house looks just the same. I clean it, then come the mess, then I clean it again. Daa .. they look just as it was. I mean, really for people who don't see when the mess takes place, it just nothing is really happening and the conclusion is that I don't do seem to do anything.

I hate when friends ask me "Soo, what are you doing all day?" .. I reply, "Don't even get me there". I don't know what to say, it's all little unimportant tasks, and repetitive .. but that's make the household running.

So much for my nagging today.

Bad Day

Yeah, it's a bad day today. Hang in there.

Rengekannya mulai mengaburkan akal sehatku.
Mungkin pengaruh kurang tidur, all night long, he's been bugging me. Maybe teething is such a pain for him (and me). Actually I'm not sure what bothers him. It just drives me crazy when he's being in misery and I don't know what to do.

Then, somebody broke our car window. Oh man, .. we're trying to sell that car. Or maybe it's a sign that we should just donate it? The title of the new car hasn't arrived and it's been over 2 weeks. When I called Mike, he said he didn't even have the title on hand. WTF?? It's a mess.

I had to do laundry, return a vacuum, doing groceries, and cook while dealing with my fussy baby.

But then, at the edge of my sanity. I gave up and I put him down on his "hop and pop". He jumps up and down in his toy, clapping his hands and throw them in the air, eyes on the TV, squealing "AAAAAAAh, AATAATTAAAATTAAA", looking back at me, and laugh.

I feel lucky.

Male and British

I just realized that my all time fave singers/movie stars are male and British.

George Michael, Sting, Sean Connery.

Sting always gives me a sense of relaxation and his beautiful lyric is still hard to beat.

When We Dance

"he won't love you, like I love you. He won't care for you this way. he'll mistreat you if you stay. Come and live with me
We'll have children of our own. I would love you more than life. If you'll come and be my wife."

I found that the ultimate devotion of love from a man.

This one, never fail putting a smile on my face on the intro.

Fields of Gold -

"You'll remember me when the west wind moves.
Upon the fields of barley........
So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold
Will you stay with me, will you be my love.
Among the fields of barley......."

aarghh ... and so on, and so on.

George Michael, so damn gorgeous .. (don't care if you're gay).
There was a period in my life that I just listened to him all the time, .. like non-stop. Kissing a Fool, Father Figure, Jesus to a Child .. duh George.

Sean Connery, .. I mean .. he is the only real James Bond.

All of them are like wine. They are more delicioso as they aged.
Yeah, I think they are more handsome as they get older.
uh oh, and they are very monogamous . Sting with Trudy, Sean and his wife (I don't know her name), and even for George who is gay, he's been with a long-time bf for 6 years.

Uhh, husband, ... please be gorgeous and faithful like them eventhough u're not British, ya ya ya?

True to Your Call

Out of the blue, my husband starts to pray again.

I love to see him doing his thing with God.
I love the fact that he needs to get in touch with his Supreme Being.
I love to see him going "up" and "down" and his lips chanting the prayer.
Every move that he makes is so graceful.

The last time he prayed, maybe was on Idul Fitri. The day he took his son home from the hospital. It's a Victory Day, literally, because Dylan was in NICU and the hospital might not release him on the day I had to leave the hospital. But he did, little baby Dy went home with us. How wonderful.

Daddy was fasting for the whole month, not skipping even one day. Not even when he stayed up all night comforting me on the Labor & Delivery Room, and oh, he just did a double shift job. I knew how exhausted he was, but he had made a pact. I never thought he would make it, not to underestimate, but he never did that before. Remember hon, .. mama made your meal for Sahur? She wanted you to have a good nutrition. So she cooked at 1 AM, chatting with me, waiting for you to get home.

He kept his promise to God for the safe delivery of his unborn son. See, Dylan ... daddy loves you, even before you were born. You make him a better person.

We hold different religion. But it doesn't matter.
We try to respect each other's right and freedom to express ourselves. Especially to God. It has to be a true call.

He drove mom and me to Vihara, willingly joined the blessing ceremony for baby Dy.
He patiently waited for me outside Dhammasala for 2 hours when I had Bhante from Indonesia came.
He never once told me to change my religion for him.

And that's why honey, .. I found it beautiful to see you praying.

A Kid inside of Me

I found this poem on my trip to my cousin's Open-Day School.
It was on the side board on the hall, along with other students' posting, but somehow I found hers is beautiful and so poetic. Especially for a 5th Grade Elementary Student.


~ MY INSIDE OUTSIDE POETRY ~

My Inside Self and Outside Self
Are as different as can be
 
My outside self is impatient
With dumb short dyed hair
I'm very short and cannot draw
I'm not pretty at all
With still no one to care
 
But my inside self is different
As you can see
 
My inside self is perfect
I'm calm and patient
With long gold hair
For all my family and friends to care
 
My inside self is petty
Which I can guarantee
Because inside me is a Dancer
Waiting to be free

by Linda Lin



In America, children at the youngest age are encouraged to express themselves. Look how beautiful their soul and mind nourish. I don't think I could make such a poem when I was 11 year old.

Just remember, ... there's a lil kid inside of you that dreams .. waiting to be free.

Selamat Hari Anak Nasional - 23 Juli 2004.

I hope deep in my heart, one day .. I can do something to help those unfortunate kids. I don't know how, so hear me God.

Every Child needs a Grandma

Sometimes I don't know if I do the right thing. I'm not perfect, life is not perfect. And you have so many doubts in your life. Decision to make, options to choose, but the worst of all is guilt.

I miss my mom a lot lately. It's been like how long? .. 7 months. I call her almost every 2 days since the last month. When I wake up in the morning, I feel like I need to hear her voice. She's just a telephone away.

So there I go, .. feeding Dylan and talking to mom over the phone. A 10-minute plan always turns out to (at least) 45 minutes. If I have to name one best(est) friend in the world, I would say MOM. I can SMS her everyday and talk to her just about anything and it's just never hard to find any topics with her. I'm not bragging about how wonderful our mother-daughter relationship is. We disagree and we fight sometimes, and it's not a one-night process to build this kinda trust. Now that I'm a grown up, I could talk just about everything to her.

I don't know if it's the right decision to stay so far away from her. I have this funny feeling inside of me, a mellow sad kinda feeling ...

I picture her and me and Dylan having a lunch together, we are laughing. I have Dylan on my laps, then she said she wants to take over ... And there my boy, with his grandma, jumping on her lap. I can picture every single details of her facial expression, or the way her hands move, and the way she kisses Dylan. Love in her eyes, he wipes all the fears and troubles in her eyes. And I just sit there, still, wish I could freeze the moment on just that split second.

Is it intentionally cruel to separate a grandma from her beloved grandson?I mean, I have choices, and this choice is definitely not convinient for her. Her voice breaks down to cry on the phone whenever she says how much she wants to touch baby Dy. How jealous she is to my aunts or Oma here. I can't watch him grow, Ta .. and they can. And that's when the guilt strikes.

I always try to change the subject or I just say, mom, don't cry or I won't call you again. Of course that's bullshit. I will call her no matter what.
There are times, that things are not going perfectly well, and she shares it with me over the phone. And that's all I can do, just listening to her. I wish I could do more than that.


I'm just holding on to that phone, burning my ears from the heat of it. She's flooding herself out, and I just wait till she's finished. Dylan, who usually seeks for attention will just lay there, listening to me speaking to his grandma. And when he makes any sound, I will put the phone closer to him so mamie could hear Dy's voice.

Don't worry ma, he won't forget you. I'll show him your picture together. You, holding him when he was just born, you feed him in NICU, and you put him in your arms both looking so relaxed. He knows how much you love him, cause I'll tell him.

So come here again soon. I can't wait.

Just the Two of Us

There goes our first anniversary.
Just the two of us babe ..
Remember the old times when the world just revolved around us?
It seems like yesterday.

You were holding my hands and the future was uncertain.
But here we are now, not one, not two, but three.
And so much happiness was never been fulfilled till the day we had our son.

A hole in my soul ..
You and him, complete me.

We had a nice dinner, just the two us. It felt so weird that way, cause Dylan was always a part of our life in every single minute.
We dropped him by at his dearest grandaunt. He didn't seem to mind at all. No crying, no whimpering, no rebellion. He seemed to understand that it was mommy and daddy's day.

I dressed up in a pretty lavender dress, just to remind my husband that I still have the charm .. :) I sit on the front seat for the first time since a million years. I was nervous. It felt like our first date. And so did you .. haha .. We were lovers not parents.

We went to a French restaurant. I had champagne, you had your gin and tonic to start up. Then you picked up the food for me cause I was lost on those French words. We enjoyed our lovely dinner together without distraction. Talking about us, about the future.

I could use more days like that...

When we finished, I asked you, "Do you miss Dylan?". It was just 2 hours since we left him. You said yes. So I said, "Let's go pick him up....I miss him too".

I reserved those memories with me, but something that you said that afternoon after our stroll to the park that lingers in me forever.

You jokingly asked, "Who's our anniversary is today?". I shouted excitedly, "Us!!!"
Then you said, "Our first, .. and a 100 years to come"

About Crying

Hormon, .. Such a big mystery of women.
I think my hormon is back to its 'normal' state since Dylan's 6 month birthday. Last night, out of the blue I just wanted to cry, for no reason.
Well, I need reasons to cry, because without one, how could my tears flow.

Anton was confused why all the sudden I got so sad. And I explained to him that woman sometimes just like to cry. I don't even remember when was the last time I cry. Maybe when mama went back to Indo. That I cried the whole trip home from the airport.

But there was a reason for me to cry. This time, I just needed to cry because I missed crying. And I thought of all the possible reasons just to make me sad. It worked quite hard at first, but when it started flowing, the rest just followed. And then I felt better, ... maybe it was just hormon, or maybe my tearduct just got to full and needed to be used.

Good thing I'm a girl, so it's acceptable, eventhough hubby still got puzzled. Men just can't cry out of the blue, that's why maybe they say they don't understand women...

Man & Food

They say, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Udah 2 hari ini aku masak makanan Padang. Kemaren bikin dendeng balado ama ketimun acar kuning. Turn out, acar timun nya enak banget ...

Anton ambil senyum² nanya,
"bikinnya pake apa sih yang?" ..
"Ya kayak yang kamu ajarin itu dong, tapi ik buat lebih enak dari je kan? Ada bumbu rahasianya tuh"

Dia merenges aja ... terus dia bilang,
"Mama saya pasti bangga nih kalo tahu"
Aku senyum aja, nggak komentar.

Hari ini aku iseng pengen makan ikan, jadi buat gulai ikan bandeng ama gulai nangka telor. Mana bikinnya stress lagi, Dylan rengek² sementara aku sibuk ngrajang ini itu (kepanasan kali sih, sucky weather). I almost gave up, untungnya akhirnya dia mau bobok dan aku bisa ngelarin masaknya.

Pas Anton pulang, dia ngeliat gulai ikannya ...
"Wuih, Padang banget nih ..., mama saya pasti bangga sama kamu, yang"

This time, I can't help but to ask
"Kok bangga kenapa?"
"Kalo mama tahu, dia akan bilang you pick the right woman to marry, Antonio"

Hey, honey ... you just make my day :)

Another threat

Pagi² bangun tidur, baca berita di CNN.com jadi bete aja. Masak headlinenya Major terror attack possible this summer.

Gimana rasa mau aman, bentar² teroris ini, teroris itu. Kemarennya juga ada bomb threat di Roosevelt Ave Station. Kok pas hari itu juga aku lagi naek kereta ama Dylan. Tapi arahnya berlawanan sih, ke Forest Hill. Cuman emang pas di platform ada announcementnya.

World peace is so far from reality, sigh.
What kind of world will my son live?

Mother's Day

This is the picture of the very first time I ever saw Dylan and holding him in my arms.

I'm so in love with this picture because there is a sense of purity around him that captured in this picture. It was originally in color and I transformed it to B&W to dramatize the aura that lingered around his face.
He was leaning towards my chest, so close to my heart and I was so happy to finally have him in my arms. The tip of my fingers showing of a bit, just enough to know that it was me holding him.

Happy Mother's Day, mama .. (I wish he could say that, but I can wait).

Children and Parents

Kadang² aku kepikir ama anak² yang nggak punya ortu. Kasihan banget deh ngebayanginnya. Kadang juga aku capek kalo lagi ngurusin Dylan, jadi kadang suka aku diemin aja dia maen sendiri. Biarpun sayang banget sama anak, juga kadang² kita kan ada jenuhnya 24/7 ngurusin dia melulu. Kalo udah gitu, suka kutaruh aja di ranjang, biar dia maen² sendiri ama playmat gym nya si kwak²..

Nggak lama juga pasti dia akan bosen mandangin bebek ama dengerin lagu² baby itu, jadi pasti dia rengek² pengen digendong. Suruh nge-gendong terus juga punggung nggak tahan lama² ... sakittt. Jadinya kutaruh lagi dia di ranjang atau di rocker. Nah, kalo dia udah diem² aja ... nggak ketawa-ketiwi, sambil ngeliatin mainannya .. atau kadang bengong aja, aku malah jadi trenyuh.

Dengan liat kondisi gitu aku jadi kepikir, .. gimana ya anak² di panti asuhan yang nggak punya orang tua? Mereka nggak pernah ngerasain curahan kasih sayang papa-mamanya. Meskipun ada juga yang take care, tapi nggak ada yang bisa nandingin care nya orang tua sendiri. Betapa hausnya mereka sama kasih sayang.

Enaknya dielus, enaknya ditimang, enaknya diajak ngobrol-ngobrol, bercanda ...
Dicium-cium, dipeluk, dimanja ...

Dulu waktu SD, temen deketku, si Grace tinggalnya di panti asuhan. Wah, tapi dia beda banget cara hidupnya. Glamour banget .. melebihin gue kemana-mana. Dia punya kamar sendiri, keren abis, ber-AC, barangnya bagus². Wah, pokoknya stylish banget deh .... Dan dia juga punya mami yang sayang habis, manjain dia ... Maminya bule yang ngatur panti asuhan itu. Jadi duitnya juga bukan duit Indo .. lavish life style lah. Nggak ada tuh panti asuhan yang kayak gitu. Kayak hotel habis deh. Gue sering maen ke situ, di anter jemput ama Tante Els, si maminya Grace, yang baeknya setengah mati.

Hebatnya si Grace ini tau siapa orang tua aslinya. Tapi dia nggak mau balik ke mereka, dia tetep mau stay ama maminya aja. Yah, siapa yang mau ninggalin mami yang ngebesarin dia dengan kasih sayang berlimpah ruah kayak gitu.
Cuman kadang gue berpikir, dia ada resentment nggak ya ama orang tua kandungnya ...
Meski dibilang hidupnya jauh lebih beruntung karena diadopsi.

Jadi orang tua itu nggak semudah yang kubayangkan dulu saat aku jadi anak.
Dan kurasa di dunia ini tidak ada yang namanya perfect parents.
I know what's coming in the following years ... pasti akan ada orang² yang berusaha ngasih "advice" atau kritik ini kritik itu about my parenting style. Yang kemaren² aja udah terjadi kok.
Pertama-tama rasanya keseeeeellll banget, shock, pengen marah, pengen nangis. Terutama nih masa² habis melahirkan, hormon superduper sensitif lagi peak²nya. Tapi lama² aku pikir ... sebodooo .. karena pengkritik² itu sendiri aku tahu juga bukanlah orang tua yang sempurna. So, why bother being distraught ..

Being parents is a learning experience.
Nobody knows best .. because each child is unique.
You try your best ...
and love a lot ..

~ love you Dy

A Taste of Spring

Hari ini, dan beberapa hari sebelumnya sudah terasa panas. Sekitar mid 70F, sepintas serasa Summer aja. Spring is in the air, .. and so is pollen... I got sore throat, sneezing, pilek, batuk². Apalagi kemaren malem, parah banget rasanya ni tenggorokan, ancuuur deh. Sakit banget kalo ngomong. Mana suami gue rada-rada budi lagi, kalo diajak ngomong mesti rada-rada keras. Kalo dah liat TV, matanya nggak kedip ...

Anton juga agak pusing², mungkin masuk angin karena emang agak² windy sih. Two adults get sick, but little baby is doing fine .. (I'm so happy with this fact though, and not feeling defeated at all).

Pagi, menjelang siang, makan dulu di IHOP, uuh yummy ... makan The Big Omelette Steak ama pancakes with strawberry and whip. Asli lapeeeerrr banget, jadi makan dengan lahapnya lah. Terus pulang ke rumah, pada kekenyangan ambil leyeh² di kasur, ... hawanya panas banget gitu ... pasang fan di kamar, rasanya ngantuuuuk banget. Antara pengen nggak pengen buat ke mall. Akhirnya udah deh, jadiin aja jalan², soalnya the weather was so nice, jadi kayaknya wasted banget kalo stay at home.

Terus jalan² lagi ke new mall, padahal hari Sabtu kemaren udah. Bagus sih, model kayak mall di Indo gitu. Heran ya kenapa mall di Indo jauh lebih bagus daripada di sini. Cuman disini enaknya banyak rest area sih, malah ada nursing room segala. Di Mall juga cuman muter² aja, pesen Mocha Malt Frap Venti nya Starbuck, terus makan di Food Court. Anton lagi pengen banget nyobain Fish & Chip nya Nathan's (gak enak, biasa aja lah). Heran ... padahal abis makan di IHOP loh ... akhirnya nggak abis kekenyangan.

Rasanya seneng deh kalo Anton di rumah, hatiku rasanya tentram ... biarpun nonton basket melulu ... ribut ngejagoin Knicks melulu (yang malem ini dibantai habis ama Nets). Hahaha ... kesian. Go Nets dong ... (kan I love Jason Kidds). Udah agak malem aku laper, nagih lah suruh dia masakin Meat Loaf ... Wooo ... super yummy. Emang inovasinya kalo lagi masak canggih deh ... Jadi ketagihan. Asyik lho punya suami bisa masak ... hehe ..