"Do you know what love is?"


Somebody asked me:

Him: "Why you write about love on your blog?"
Me: "Why not? so many people screaming out loud about pain. I'm tired of it", I said.
Him: "You make me remember love since I read your blog ..."
Me: "Good for you."

As we grow up to be an adult, our daily life has changed into abnormal situation sometimes. Things that we think will never occur in our lives happened, and some of us are living so far away from family and friends that we mostly dear of. We're feeling a little down by bad experiences, falling in love with the wrong person, money problem, stresses at work, stacks of unfinished school projects due tomorrow, aggrevating people, late subway train, cold weather, hot weather .. whatever. And Bit by bit, the love that we found once is leaving us ... or we thought so at least.

On my time alone, I grew fond to read more, pamper me more, less TV, less internet time just to make sure I wouldn't be bitter or crazy. And when I missed love so bad, I found it somewhere in the laugh of children, the smile of a stranger and the hug of a bestfriend, or even an email from mom. A little love here and there has been my refugee of the pain. Now that I have someone with me, I even happier. I'm alive when I know I'm being loved unconditionally, doesn't matter if it's just a little.

And one thing about love is .. nobody knows "the definition" about it. It's just what it is .. it's there when you are ready. It doesn't go anywhere. You can't manipulate it, .. if you can, you should give me your number then .. or email me! * smile *

My gf: "Do you think it's wrong for me to love him?"

Me: "Who am I to judge you, honey?"


~~~ Credit for ang and gi who inspire me for this one ~~~

"Special Registration"

Warga negara Indo yang ada di AS (terutama cowok di atas umur 16 taon) pasti sekarang lagi pusing mikir mo lapor atau nggak ke INS soal NSEERS. Udah 4 hari jalan sejak special registration diberlakukan untuk Indonesian citizen di US. Ini ada sedikit info dari detik.com(** thanks to Oki yang ngirimin berita ini ke gue **) . Buat pertimbangan apakah mo lapor ato nggak, semuanya sih balik ke diri sendiri. Tiap orang kan case nya beda2, dan kadang kita mesti putusin yang terbaik buat diri kita, meskipun sekarang keliatannya pahit banget. Lagian deadline nya diperpanjang sampe akhir April, jadi masih ada waktu untuk mikir2.

Yang pada punya saudara atau temen di State, click aja di sini .
Eh, kok tambah serem sih, baca di Jawa Pos beritanya tambah bikin nyali ciut.

"Too comfortable"

I have this question in mind .. Is love become too comfortable that you don't care about it anymore? It usually happens in a perfect, nice smoothing relationship. The boat is start sailing from the port and the breeze just sort of blowing calmly, pushing it to the middle of the sea ... you got carried away .. enjoying the sun, and wake up .. voila .. u r in the middle of nowhere. Is it true that you need drama in your love life? Something that sparks excitement and challenge?

For all factors, the key element in developing a successfull relationship is communication. Communication according to Webster Dictionary :

"a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior"

Apparently in developing a love relationship, it is subjected to communication as well. It raised a question whether communication is as important as love. A lot of people don't know how to communicate well and it is not really an easy task to do even when you think you are educated. There's no such school as Master of Love Communication, and even if there is, it is far more complicated to get practical in unique situation.

It's quite intriguing that according to Webster, the exchange is done through symbol, signs or behavior!! Meaning that communication is not limited to spoken words only, even behavior can relate to be a form of communication. Oh boy, why I have to make it so complicated?? Is it me or is it him? But whatever it was, I did the right thing for me. And I have to realize that my bf is not so much of a chatter and I try to understand him, and maybe .. just maybe .. I should give him a slap on the face really hard and tell him that relationship is not built overnight and needs both sides to work things out. And I should bang my head really hard to reality and come back from "the comfort island" to be who I was, to rely on myself.

** Never be too comfortable in any situation **

Now I feel better ....

Something in web is messed up, gosh I hate when that happened, broken link and some other stuff. Vero wrote me, she's always cute ... sometimes she puts it in unexpected way, I couldn't help but ponderin what she really meant. Then I took a shower, no hot water!! when all I really want is to get relax .. no hair washing then, it was too cold and I don't want to get sick. Hot shower always makes me calm, hot bath even better!

As I look around, the house is a mess, I got to do something. Not in the mood of writing anymore ... later maybe.

"Battle of Left and Right Brain"

Went to Stop and Shop, look out for bunch of things, then I passed by the ice cream section. Damn, it was a fight .. I wanna grab everything, strawberry cheesecake, rum raisin, cookie dough chip **?? man, I don't even know that such a flavor exists ...**, rocky road, etc. Shoot, I'm in trouble ... My left brain says "fat fat fat ..." while my right brain says ... "yooo, try it ... they look awesome". I gasp for some air and then I put them back one by one .... I can't believe I did that, but I had too .. too indulge with food lately, I'm getting some extra inches on my waist. I should slow down on food. I already have 3-pint size Haagendazs at home, Dulce de Leche, Macadamia Brittle and Chocolate Sorbet.

But at home, the image of those beautiful Haagendasz still haunting me. So I check the website, .. crap, they even have Baileys Ice Cream, Limited Edition ... **not on production currently** I'm just gonna start to cry now.



I'll try this fella on my next trip to Stop and Shop. I have to!! or it's gonna haunt me forever ... :P

Hey, only have one life to live anyway ** hihihihihihi devilish grin .. **

"Can't Sleep"


I slept late and woke up early around 8, couldn't get back to the cozy warmth that I had. I felt in between, to sleep or not to sleep .. I chose the latter, so I made myself my fave espresso, Maxwell 1/2 decaff with 2 tbsp of condensed milk *wonderful choice*. Even Anton gets addicted to it and he's not even a coffee lover at all! I turn on the TV ... another news of War .. apparently this whole nation kinda stupid compared to New Yorker ...a poll indicates 63% people nationwide agree of US plan to invade Iraq, while only 39% people in NY agree to do so. How the hell am I gonna find a job here? America is not the same as before .. everything is so much tougher these days. So many people are going back to their home land, the US gov strictens the border to get here. How am I lucky to get a chance to be here and taste the bitter sweet of the Dream Land.

Sometimes I can't believe I'll be graduating soon, all the hard work, the pain, the struggle to get it done. I was crazyly enough to get out from my aunt's house and after the conversation that .. *we can't support you anymore* ... I walked out the door feeling like a free man and yet didn't know how I'm gonna survive to pay for my own school and rent. I worked my ass off to get all I needed .. pay school tuition in installment, try to study when I was dead tired, carry around my 5-pound textbook in my bag pack so I could read on the train. There were times I thought I'd rather die ... but I was to embarassed to die for nothing, so I thought if they say I won't make it .. I have to make it. Need a lot of encouragement from people ... my family at home, my friends, my customers. I didn't see my fam or friends a lot, so my customers were my refugee. They were like my friends ... no, they are my friends, ... Tamara, Ladine, Tina, Brenda, Lis, Lenny, Christine, Wings, Doreanne, Jas, Phylis, Cathrina, Marlyn, Cindy ... and I miss Tina's girls .. Briana and Annie .. Briana is warm and sweet and Annie is such a doll and extremely shy. Maybe I should call Tina just to say hi. Oh forgot Denise and family .. I listen to their story of life as they listen to mine when they come visit. How's Michele? Is she still in Rome with the Navy? Melissa still in Puerto Rico? What about curly Ceci .. is her black and blue eye okay now? and Tamara .. how's ur dad's surgery? ... ur all going for the cruise again this year? .. and Thea who showed up at store just to make sure I was okay after breaking up with Sean. All those lil conversation build up for two years and they're part of my life that I miss. They pat me on the back when I'm down .. gave me hugs and kisses ... how strangers could be closer than family. Different culture, different nationality .. doesn't matter.

"Snow Blast"

I am happy to be with the snow




I had a blast taking pictures with the boys in Central Park yesterday ... It was terrific day ... We got all play and fun. Raja was going to the city by himself, but then we decided to go along and might as well take the opportunity to get some pic shots, who knows when we gonna have this amount of snow again. I went crazy and didn't even care if I got wet. Thrown to the snow .. pick up some snow ball and play along with it ... it's either in the shoes, the hat or my pants. Roll over the place .. I was pretty surprise that Anton actually wanted to go, in the end I found out that he had a secret plan to go down get some tropical fishes in China Town. No wonder ...

I actually upload some pictures in Image Station so I can keep the memory forever. We had fun, wet and happy ... then we off to Nike Town in Trump Plaza just to pee!! *hahaha ....* We're heading to the subway and went downtown to look for the fishes ... Get off in Canal St, and we were welcomed with the familiar atmosphere of China Town ... garbage and fishes .. stinky. We finally found the fish shop, but nothing was really good ... and the other store was closed. It was time for dinner!! Nyonya was one block away ... so we ate in this nice Malaysian cuisine. Got roti canai, sambal petai, and kangkung belacan ... yummy to my tummy. Felt better after we eat .. I could actually can't wait to get home ... my jeans was so wet ... Somehow I have to wait the next day to see the pics ... I send some people postcard with my pic on it. Hope they enjoy it and know that I'm happy and miss them here.

"Happy Blizzard Day"

I'm gonna enjoy the snow tomorrow :) la la la la

I wonder if I talk to much of my mind. Hah? hold on .. I can do that!! It's my blog and I can write whatever I think. I don't harm anybody anyway ... New York is going to experience another blizzard, the one like 1996. Coooollll ... I love snow ... I went to the get some food before and as I walked by, I noticed that snow was kinda sparkly. What a beauty .. I slided with my shoes on the pavement and I didn't really care what people thought. Drown in the moment.... Let my inner child play. Go on ..

I feel the serenity around me as I've never experienced my neighborhood this quiet. No car's around ... no people walk ... and the snow kinda stick to my window ... It's getting higher .. probably three quarter of a feet. Nice song doesn't hurt either ..

I plan to stay home all day tomorrow, stock up some food and cuddle up with baby. Good thing he's off tomorrow, otherwise I'm all alone playing my puter all day. It's been hurting my eyes and hands ... I still can't stop. I'm not normal?? My honey is sleeping already ... he's dead tired for working since 9:30 and I'm happy to see him on my on my bed curling up. Just to hear his breathing gives me a fuzzy feeling. I love cookie ... he's sweet and hard at the same time. Keeping too much of everything, always the "cool" guy for all time. I like to spoil him sometimes .. he deserves it even if he thinks he doesn't. Silly baby ...

Don't know why .. I am obsessed with web design lately ... I did everything that I think kinda useless but made me happy .. maybe satisfied is a more appopriate word. I'm getting really sleepy, tylenol starts to kick in. Write more later ...

"When Love and Hate Collide"

Since I talk about love in this website a lot, I think I want to explore more today, specifically. I think the idea of love is different from one person to another. One thinks that love is as this, and the other as that. So what love is really? I suppose what we call love is actually a concept. The most universal language of all ... experienced by many people around the world.

Sometimes people recall hate as the opposite of love ... Might be true, might be not. Hate is rooted from love .... If you love music, you know that rapper Eminem has outgrown audience with his hate lyric. He won so many Grammy with his outrageous songs .. the funny thing is that people love it!! Used to be a taboo, but not anymore. If you trace back Eminem's childhood, he was never content of his mother's love, that's why he expresses it now through his music. And in the end, deep down he's longing for the love that he lost from his mother.

You hate people sometimes when they look better or have better life than you. Why? Is it rooted from love? Can you draw the same conclusion? Of course, ... you'd love to have better life ... you'd love to look better than anyone ... and when you don't have it, you hate the subject as the recepient of love. Then I could say that hate is derivative of love. As long as there is black and white, ... this world will always equalize itself in the form of yin yang. It's a symbol of balance ... I haven't gone far to think about what hate will balance love though ... but somehow it must lead to something.

I have browsed around in the Internet for a while and I found so many people wrote about pain, suffer, loneliness, hate etc .. I was interested with sites that kind of intriguing in the title, the hatred or suffered message of it. And I see that when there is lack of love, hate starts to emerge. In my own experience, I feel distant when people I love are not around me, and very withdrawn. But when I have love, I'm more outgoing, more alive, .... more content with life.

Pain is the other word of hate perhaps ... and to my surprise, some people "fall in love" with pain. There is something in pain that makes you want to linger there ... and slowly refuse to love again. Does pain makes you feel secure ... and love doesn't?? Does pain makes you look cool .. and love doesn't? Does love hurt you so much?. It's not love that hurts ... It's your hope, your imagination, your desire ... And because love is the greatest of all those ... you stamp love as the one that makes your heart hurts.

Have you ever loved someone?
Have you ever watched her/him sleeping?
Have you ever warmed her/his hands when it's cold?
Have you ever wanted to kiss those lips lightly?
Have you ever kissed and never want to let go?
Have you been tears just staring at her/him?
Have you ever felt her/his skin so warm when you hold her/him besides you?
Have you ever wished you can snuggle the whole day with her/him on Sunday?
Have you ever missed the most irritating of all in her/him?
Have you?

"Birthday Review"

It's pretty surprising that some people call me or send me message on my birthday. They are people that I don't think will remember ... like Linda, Jenny, Kiki. Some other people that send me card is my sista;Bibi, Mario, Sari, Lenny & Christine.

Happy Birthday

So, this is my 26th birthday ... I don't feel anything special, except when I read what mom wrote to me. She sends me SMS through Raja's phone. I was kinda sick I guess ... it was so freaking cold and windy outside. I went for lunch with Anton at Warteg .. chit chat with mbak Suti ... got my not so good late lunch and then went to Home Depot. Terrible wind blowing when I got out from the store and in a 10-sec walk to the car, I was hit by an excruciating pain in my head. Lasted the whole trip to home, I opened the door, and blasted to the bathroom and get everything I had for lunch out in the toilet bowl ... He cleaned up the mess I made, made me a nice hot tea, and covered me with blanket and tucked some pillows to make me comfortable.*Thank you, cookie .. *

Then I watched the movie "Heart in Atlantis" with Anton, but my head was still banging ... the worst headache I've ever remembered. It felt like my skull was growing and waiting to explode, to make it worse .. even eye movement gave me shooting pain .. God, what happened to me?? I took 2 Panadol pills in the next 10 min when I couldn't stand it anymore, it didn't feel working at all ...

Then I locked myself in the bedroom, tried to meditate and learned to take the pain, I hymned whatever chant I could remember "Namo tassa bhagavatto, arahato, sama sambudase ... three times ... then .. "Sabbe satta bhawantu sukitata". The former I wasn't sure what it meant, but the latter meant "May all living being be happy". I chanted them over and over ... and slowly ... I felt more relaxed .. and the pain started to go away. Maybe it's the meditation, or the pills ... both worked wonderfully I supposed. I walked out the room out of pain .. totally!!

I was thinking that maybe the pain supposed to remind me, that life is sometimes crushed you with an unbearable pain, but it will eventually go away in time. And the pain itself, reminds me that I have a head, to conciously aware its existence as a part of me. Which I don't appreciate it so much when I'm healthy ... and then all the sudden, it's shouting out loud .. hey .. hey .. I'm here ... I need attention. Think about it how we take our body parts for granted untill one day you are in pain.

This is what mom wrote .. I type it here as it is .. she made mistake as you will see ... on the year of course .. but it's okay .. *love, love, love*

Hi tayang ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEETHEART. Pap n mom n adik2. Hope u always happy. Home peb 13, 03, 00.20 am, the day I delivered u 26 years ago. We love you .. We r proud of u .. We wish u were at home now. Please Feel our big big hug ....

Thank you ma ... Miss you always, never stop missing you ... not even a single second. *nobody hugs like ma*

TV Shows

I have this favorite TV show .. Surprise by Design that runs every week day for two episodes on 12 to 1pm then 1 to 2 pm. The two designers, Rebecca Cole and Robert Verdi are cool in terms of creativity and imagination. Basically what they do is making a room makeover on a one-day basis to surprise someone in the family (either the husband, the wife, the bf, the gf .. whoever.. ). Everybody (brother/sister, neighbour, friends ..) will help to finish up the project, and sometimes due to lack of time, they have to switch plan .. and still comes out with something gorgeous. Rebecca goes with the broader idea and Robert (love him, he's so funny!!) is the accessory guy. He can create something out of nowhere and come out beautifully.

I was kinda surprised by how many furnitures I have at home that actually wonderful antique stuff but left sitting on the corner, waiting to be polished ... oh I wish I studied Interior Design. That is sorta my passion. I can't stop watching HGTV station to find new ideas on decorating home. I know someday I will pursue my passion ... gotta find a way.

The other TV show that I love is reality show, the most recent are Joe Millionare and American Idol. For those in the State will know about these shows, Joe Millionare is a reality TV show of a millionare bachelor that looks for love by inviting 25 girls into his castle in French. Get to know each one of them, make selections and eliminate constentants every week. "Joe" inherits $50 million and he wants to find which girl really digs for him, not his money. Why???? Because .. here is the twist... Joe is actually a construction worker with only $19,000 income/year. And none of these girls aware of that, because he looks so jet-set (dark, handsome, tall, ... ). Here is the idea of reality TV show ... you see human nature of greediness about money or anything, dying to win with the image they have in mind which might not be true ... *wink*

How come I forgot about The Osbournes ???? I'm addicted to it. It's *fuckingly* crazy and funny. I heard that even Queen Elizabeth (from England .. the real Queen!!) and President Bush love the show too!! The Osbourne is the TV show about Ozzy Osbournes family .. (another reality show). They swear a lot ... and act nuts, but most of all, they love each other fully. You will hear a lot of *beep* censor for too much sworn words, and sometimes you even have to figure out what the hell they're saying. The theme song "remember to love and forget how to hate" .. well something like that. Most of all, I love Sharon *the mother*, she's cool, witty, funny, ... I love her so much!! The last show that I watch was when Ozzy and Sharon renew their vow, and when Sharon expressed her love ... Ozzy was actually crying ... **funny to think that Ozzy was well known as the Prince of Darkness in Metal music, and yeah he bit live bat on stage ... woww** .. Not sissy ... and I think that was cute and sweet, how love can make someone so tough be able to tears.

A year ago

I remember a year ago around this time, cold, broken hearted, alone .. it was a mess ... school was horrible too, I didn't have much money to pay my tuition. Life kinda screwed up, then my gf Gisela helped me out, my parents cheered me up ... lifted my spirit. My valentine was my gf Gisela, I felt like she's an angel to me, so I listened to "Angel on my Shoulder" by Natalie Cole. It crossed my mind how many people helped me through my journey. Oom Bob, Tante Carol, Sean, Ms. Pat Lewis, Prof. Ma, Prof. Schron, Aretha ... my favorite people... I can't never thank enough to you all. So here to all of you ... *stay in my heart forever*.


Angel on My Shoulder - Natalie Cole

I never thought I'd ever make it,
I can't believe the hell I've been through
Couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel,
I didn't know what to do
I've been through the rain,
I've been through the fire
There was something that I never knew

I had an angel on my shoulder,
with a plan for me divine
Must be an angel on my shoulder,
who was right there all the time
(Angel, must be an angel)

This world can be so cold and so heartless
Its hard to find your way alone,
I used to run so fast,
no one could catch me
I couldn't find the way back home,
but I've laughed, I've cried
I've walked both sides,
but my broken heart just never knew

I had an angel on my shoulder,
with a plan for me divine
Got to be an angel on my shoulder,
who was right there
Right there all the time,
everybody needs someone to cling to
With an unchanging love,
I finally found a hand to hold on to
A shelter to run to,
now I see He's watching over me

(Angel on my shoulder, angel)
I've got an (angel on my shoulder)
Angel on my shoulder, with a plan for me divine
Got to be an (angel on my shoulder),
angel on my shoulder
Who was right there, right there, right there all the time
Got to be an angel, an angel, an angel, right there all the time

Salju lagi ..

Hari ini salju lagi ..... I love it when it snow ... everything's so white. But .... kamar gue bocor man .... gile netes2, alhasil baju basah deh ... pake acara ditampung pake ember segala .. jadi kayak di kampung ... :) Terus draft di kamar, masih aja, jadi mesti kuplester pake isolasi tuh ... apalagi tempat AC, lewat sela2nya banyak angin berobos masuk. Kapan ya Spring?? gile deh, winter ini dingin amat dan snow nya juga banyak banget. Moga2 besok pagi bisa foto2 ... foto yang kemaren ilang .. kampret banget .. gara2 baterenya keluar pas aku masukin tas.

Kemaren maen ama Gisela, ketemu di Target ... dan aku ikut dia balik ke rumahnya, makan bentar ... terus nemenin dia ngelaundry. Habis itu balik rumah, masak deh .. pengen aja makan beef barbeque ama kimchi .. wiih enak, buatnya gampang lagi, tinggal direndem2 bentar ama already made sauce. Alhasil tapinya serumah keasepan, tapi baunya enak banget .. hahaha .. ngga toleransi nih.

Udah gitu mukaku gatel2 ... kayaknya kepengaruh kaporit dari kolam renang deh, ... alhasil jadi merah2 gitu deh. I just have to keep my finger from scratching ma face .. *kinda hard .. but I'll try*, terus tadi ke target lagi ... beli lock ama isolasi ... pulang, bersih2 kamar ... pusing banget ngeliat semuanya pada berantakan gitu. Bersih deh ... belum tuntas banget, tapi dah lumayan, ngeliatnya juga enak kaannnn ... papa kalo baca pasti bangga deh, anak ce nya bisa juga bersih2 .. hehe.

Oh, mo bilang kalo gua turut berduka cita ama meninggalnya si Cahyo .. tikusnya palem. Kacian deh, .. padahal kemarennya juga baru lari2 di pundaknya palem .. Pasti palem meliharanya nggak bener, makanya mati ... lagian menurut gua itu pest .. bukan pet deh.

Udah ah, jari gua kedinginan, jadi sakit nih ....

Get Your Body to Work

That's what I did yesterday. I've been thinking about swimming for a long time. I used to swim almost every day, and since I came here, I never really swim .. (vote out the Jones Beach). I love to swim, I found myself calm and energized .. and hungry *hehehe* after I swam. So today, well .. yesterday .. I went to the city with Anton, he had to go to work, and I made up my mind to give myself a lil work. I've been on the computer too much and my hands hurt a lot. I've been disobeying my doctor advice to swim since last year. It's not that I don't want to .. but swimming is very expensive in NYC. I can't afford too much with my limited budget. Till two weeks ago I found that I could swim in my college pool for free!! *thanks to Henry, the life guard who gave me a lot of information*

So I finally took my dive (later on, he told me not to dive since it was shallow, but at least I did it ..) *grin*, and I felt sooo good .... for about after 30 min, I had to finish. The pool had to be closed early for weekend ... oh, btw, my pad lock was too tiny I couldn't put my stuff in the locker. Man, ... I think I have no luck with any locker in the world ... *hm, that doesn't sound right*. I mean, any pad lock for locker ...never works@#$!! So I left it by the pool and the life guard watched it for me ... even in the gym, I'd carry my bag around ... :P

I felt wonderful ... until I completely dressed up and felt the pain on my shoulders .... I think I pull my muscle, which I think kinda normal after a long time vacant of exercise. It hurts when I lift my arms ... and I still have to do food shopping afterwards cause I promise Anton I will cook tonight ... mannn .... And the weather!!, oooh freaking cold!!! My face, my hands ... I couldn't feel them ... I was like aaarrrggggghhh ... wanna get home .. wanna get home ... My room was cold too!!! I think I have so much draft with the two big windows .... but the kitchen was warm. Thank God ...

Moral of the story?? nothing really .. but most importantly, I think sport always makes you feel good. I've made a commitment with my PC, but it sorta kills me back. So I have to slow down and not pushing my body too much. I will end up with Carpal Tunnel Syndromme, strain vision, achy body .. .. the list can go on. From now on, I'll manage to swim at least once a week or probably twice ... *for summer bod .. hehehe*

WAR??

So much for today ... US is on HIGH security alert. New York is on the "Orange Level", the second highest risk on terrorist attack. Keep up-to-date .. Bush still imposes Iraq to comply with UN regulation. Who knows what Saddam will do? especially with a high-scaled aircraft that carries 2000 gallons of anthrax to spray across the country. If that happens in New York .. that's it, I'm finished man .. *cross my fingers and keep praying*.

You just don't feel safe anywhere in the world now. So many terrorist attack, bombing, murders .. everybody panicks ... According to Bible, there would be time that everybody will go back to their own place. Enough for Nostradamus stuff or prophet. Better enjoy what you have right now ... right at the moment.

@}`-- Peace to the world --`{@

WAR??

So much for today ... US is on HIGH security alert. New York is on the "Orange Level", the second highest risk on terrorist attack. Keep up-to-date .. Bush still imposes Iraq to comply with UN regulation. Who knows what Saddam will do? especially with a high-scaled aircraft that carries 2000 gallons of anthrax to spray across the country. If that happens in New York .. that's it, I'm finished man .. *cross my fingers and keep praying*.

You just don't feel safe anywhere in the world now. So many terrorist attack, bombing, murders .. everybody panicks ... According to Bible, there would be time that everybody will go back to their own place. Enough for Nostradamus stuff or prophet. Better enjoy what you have right now ... right at the moment.

Peace to the world

GO PUBLIC

I finally did the editing on the site and putting up some fancy thingy stuff. It costs me hours of sleep, but I think I was even too excited to notice. This morning New York got some snow again!! **yeeaaaahhh**. Some 6-inch snow will accumulate or perhaps already did?? We'll see but It's so pretty outside. Raja called me and told me to go take a look it was pretty .. I know I'm not too affected since I have no car ... and no house .. I mean I'm not homeless, but it's still not my home. Some schools are closed in Brooklyn, maybe the parents have problem??

I sat on the snow with only my PJ and some fluffy down jacket ... then I felt my thighs were kinda numb *stupid but fun .. hehehe*. Okay, I'm waiting for my cup of tea .. the water is boiling ... tea time! Later ....

Tak Akan ada Cinta yang lain (Indonesian version)


Haruskah kuulangi lagi, kata cintaku padamu.
Yakinkan dirimu.
Masihkah terlintas di dada
Keraguanmu itu susahkan hatimu.

Hanyalah satu lagu kenangan.
Cerita cinta kita tak mungkin terlupa.
Buang semua angan mulukmu itu.
Percaya takdir kita, aku cinta padamu.

Tak akan ada cinta yang lain.
Pastikan cintaku hanya untukmu.
Pernahkah terbersit olehmu.
Akupun takut kehilangan dirimu.

Akankah nanti terulang lagi, jalinan cinta semu.
Dengarlah bisikku, bukalah mata hatimu.


I don't want him out of my life, like everyone else before ...
I don't wanna a glimpse of you, babe.
You'r my favorite thing ...

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

Have you ever been mellow? Read the title? Go found yourself this song from George Michael. It just melts my crazy brain away ... What putting this song on when you are with your lover, or try to put your baby to sleep ... it works either way. I don't feel like writing all the sudden ... hmmm ...

Wow, it's been a while

Today it's gonna be random experiences put up here since I haven't fill this in for a while.
I guess the cold days make me feel such a lazzy ass. Two days ago, was my cookie's birthday ... I threw him a surpise b'day party .. he loved it!!, he was surprised couldn't stop smiling all along. Ooh, I love my cookie ... :) I ran around to do my shopping and managed everything in time. Got the balloons, .. the gift, the banners ... then the cake and the food ... I was so tired from walking, but it paid off when I saw him happy. It's all that matters..

I was thinking about marriage the other day, and I thought again ... I shouldn't get married for a wrong reason. If you kinda in rush to get married just because you want to get married, which is not a good reason .. because it's not strong enough to make a commitment. A life time commitment .. and ain't nobody gonna save you if you ain't take your own life carefully. Plan is not always fun, but it does make life easier... u tell me 'bout it ..

Rule of thumb: Don't buy things when you'r hesitant cause you will end up not using it. I guess that will work the same with marriage. I can't afford to get in trap in the wrong wedding knot... It takes two to play the game, baby ...